Have you noticed that sometimes our assumptions about things end up causing results we don’t intend?
Maybe that’s not a thought that’s popped into your head. What about trying to figure out how to get more people to jump on your business social pages? Or maybe you have a new product that was recently launched and it’s becoming harder and harder to get traction for it. Or you’ve been promoted to a new position and it’s harder than you thought to build rapport with your team and your managers.
These are challenges that we face and think that the problem is outside of ourselves. We often think that we need help from someone who specializes in marketing or leadership development. Perhaps a specialist in those capacities can bring about some growth and change. But I want to challenge you with a different possibility. What if the problem is you?
Before you get upset for me saying something so bold, let me tell you a story. I’ve spent about 20 years working in radio and music, running a radio station and building a syndicated radio show that’s connected a ton of unknown musicians to new fans all over the world. I’m saying this for context, not to brag.
About six years ago I was contacted by a growing music group who wanted to consult with me on putting together a big event to launch their album. They had a vision for doing a tour across the country and wanted to start in Texas. They’d heard about The Appetizer Radio Show and had heard an interview I did. They asked how we could work together to put on a launch event and do some collaboration.
Sounds like a big win right, a massive opportunity to get out in front of more people and really grow? With the right mindset that might have been true. But here’s the voice I heard in my head at the mention of collaborating with this group: “You can’t do that.”
I heard that voice a lot in my head. I also heard it a lot at the station where I was working at. Disempowering statements like this were pervasive in the at work culture. Because I was inundated with this kind of negative ideology, I adopted it into my reasoning without knowing it.
This negative mindset was my baseline response to most opportunities’. Something would pop up and I’d want to get involved, but I’d let that negative voice tell me I couldn’t do it. And I’d agree with the negative response instead of confronting it.
This is when I learned that the biggest obstacle I had ever faced, and ever would face, was me.
Most of us struggle in some capacity with negative and counter-productive ideologies. This kind of mindset, which tells us what we’re limited by, what we can’t do, how no one really wants to listen to us or won’t engage with what we’re doing, causes a lot of young professionals to hide their talents and strengths. Or, we project this negative belief onto what we perceive others to think about us. This can lead to putting a chip on your shoulder with something to prove to people who don’t know anything about your struggle.
Negative mindsets are a hindrance for everyone. No one is immune from the self-inflicted pain of fears and insecurities. Often, it’s what can cause the most stress in our lives.
But there’s a solution to this and it’s not complicated. You heard part of my story with one situation where I could have had a big growth opportunity go south all because I didn’t believe in myself. That’s one of many stories for me. You have your own. Here’s what I started doing about three years ago to overcome this obstacle, and I continue doing it every day to get stronger and stronger.
I chose to believe in myself. I chose to fight that inner voice that wanted to disempower me with a counter argument of support, love, and encouragement. And it started with something as simple as saying to myself: “I believe in me!”
If talking to yourself sounds silly, get over it. You do it all the time. Remember, you’re telling yourself what you can’t do and what you’re afraid of with that inner negative voice. Kick that voice in the teeth and love yourself. Put faith and confidence in yourself by telling yourself (out loud is best) who you are, what makes you strong, what you’ve overcome, and what you want.
Self-help guru Dr. Wayne Dyer talks about how what we focus on expands. When we focus on problems and shortcomings, we find more of that in our lives. When we focus on what we want and what makes us happy, we find more of that in our lives. It’s the law of attraction.
The best way to overcome negative mindsets is to start with the mind and give it healthy input. I do a little mantra everyday on my way to work that has transformed how I think, how I operate, and what opportunities come into my path. It has worked for me. It can work for you.
And it’s super simple.
I just say this little phrase: “What is inside of me is love, joy, peace, success, and abundance. What I produce is love, joy, peace, success, and abundance. What I attract is love, joy, peace, success and abundance. I am love, success, and abundance.”
If you find this goofy, good! It is. It’s also effective, which is why I do it. Love is the answer for everything we will ever experience in life. We have to love ourselves first so that we can give what we want to receive.
Overcome that big giant that stands in front of you in your business and personal growth. It’s fears, insecurities, and mindsets. You have the tools and weapons to overcome them. And only you can do that for yourself.